Lately the topic keeps being brought up, whether from friends or something online, about types. What is your type? Who do you find yourself attracted to, and why?
The answer to that question is different for every person. Yet there is still a common thread through all answers. People are attracted to personalities. ”He has to be smart/funny/witty.” “She needs to be able to hold a conversation with me that isn’t about the latest celebrity news” “He needs to be smart but not too smart” “She needs to be as smart as me, smarter is fine even, just as long as she doesn’t mind helping me understand some of the words she’s using.” Those are all parts of a personality. Of course everyone also goes off their own preference for looks as well, but if you keep dating people who fit your look list to the T and find yourself continuously looking for someone else it could be because the looks don’t matter as much as the personality. You can only date so many men/women who look like ABC before finding that they are all too vain.
Everybody could find somebody if they just opened themselves up to the possibility that looks aren’t everything. Yes, looks do rank high up on the list for lots. Some will argue that if there isn’t physical chemistry from the beginning there never will be. And some will combat that saying they fell in love with someone who was not even close to their type (physically), and that the chemistry they have with their SO is unmatched to what they ever had before.
I bring this up after hearing friends complain about finding someone, after reading article after article about the same superficial bullshit. News flash: looks do fade on a lot of people. Some people are born and as they age they get better looking, others age and they go down in the looks department. And for those who think cosmetic surgery is the answer for aging, that isn’t the best choice. I’m not against it, and fully support those who have procedures done. Maybe I’ve just viewed aging as an award of sorts for all the adventures, lessons, good times, bad times that a person goes through in their lifetime.
I never actually set out to date any of my exes based on how they looked. Actually it was something about their personality that shined through in their eyes when I looked at them. Something that just screamed out “I’m more than just what you see.” That is what sparked the emotions in the first place. It just so happens that all my exes are a lot more attractive (in my own opinion) than myself. But they all gave me a chance, hopefully because they saw the same thing in my eyes that I saw in theirs. So keep your eyes on me, I’m more than just what you see.